[for romain]

[umbralla]

[It's not hard to find Ghyslain when he's not in class or the dorms - he doesn't go out a lot, and when there aren't classes in the music room, he'll most likely be there. How often do you find a giant grand piano to play, after all? Even his family had a much smaller one, slightly out of tune, which grated on someone with such a natural ear when he came back from lessons and had to practice on it.

Today he's playing something he remembers his older sister listening to; not his kind of music, but the musician was damn good on piano, so the melodies stick out and he picks them out when he hasn't got a song in mind. It's slow at first, then picks up to the actual speed of the song, light and flourishing.

He's clearly in his own world, pale eyes dreamy and head swaying back and forth. In a soft, deep voice, he tries to translate the lyrics he can remember, but they come without scansion and rhyme because it's so off the top of his head.]

Comments

[umbralla]

[He shifts his eyes back up to Romain's, smiling broadly, heart absolutely racing in his chest. Oh, he's never had a crush hit quite this fast. He barely knows what to do with himself. His eyes are alight, cheeks burning, and he just wants to kiss Romain so badly that he realizes he could be in serious danger with too much more beer.

As it is, he just laughs breathlessly, nodding and lifting his glass to meet the toast.]

[quantities]

[ :*!!!! Wait no homo

There's something so boyish about his smile now, even when his features are already incredibly jovial on a normal day. He grins, their bottles clink and he puts his up to his lips. This is totally not intentional.]

This is gonna sound weird, but you have a seriously great smile. Anyone ever tell you that? I'm surprised you don't have, like. Ten girls texting you right now.

[umbralla]

[And then his heart breaks, just a little. One of his almost-friends at the school, a girl slightly younger than him, told him once about "straight" girls and how freely they compliment and how it can feel like a knife in the gut. Men are not the same, he said, but now he understands.]

It does not sound weird. Simply - unfortunate. [He doesn't drink after the toast, seriously bad manners and (some say) bad luck, but he's suddenly lost the taste for it.] I am - I do not -

[He pulls both lips between his teeth this time, releases them with a sigh.]

- I have had interest from girls. But they do not interest me.

[There we go. Done.]

[quantities]

[he squints, listening... And then it clicks and his eyes go wide.]

Oh - dude, I'm sorry - I just assumed 'cause -

[because it's what every normative person does, really.]

Man, I said a lot of dumb stuff tonight, didn't I? Shit, I'm an idiot. Sorry.

[sheetsheetsheet]

[umbralla]

Do not apologise. [He insists on that quickly, right after the second "sorry."] I have not been clear... plutôt, I have tried to hide it.

[Now that they're getting honest, he may as well just be totally honest, let Romain leave if he's going to. Get all the shit out on the table.]

I did not tell you to leave the music room because - tu parles Français. [Now he looks right away, not just down, eyes fixed in the opposite direction. He’s switched to French for a reason this time.] Et tu est beau. Très beau. Mais… c’est fou, ça, je comprends. C'est stupide. Tu n’est pas – comme ça. Je l’aurais déviner.

[quantities]

What - you -

[Girls crushing on him because of his uber friendliness is one thing, but. A guy? Psyducks.]

Moi? Je suis beau?

[He wasn't even... He doesn't hit on boys. Not intentionally...? Wow Romain way to have a crisis.]

I mean - Merci. Thanks. But I wasn't...

[Wait. Is he making fun of him. IS HE!!!]

What I mean is - I don't like guys like that.

[umbralla]

Oui, oui, je comprends. [His voice is getting sharper, anger turned inward rather than outward, and he pushes his seat out abruptly.] Ce n'est pas toi. C'est moi.

[He stands up, grabbing his wallet out of his back pocket.]

Merci pour - le tout. [Talking to him, coming out with him, humouring the stupid, stupid crush he didn't even know existed.] I am sorry.

[quantities]

[Wait! What!]

What? Hey - [He reaches for Ghyslain's sleeve, because this took a really serious turn.]

Cela ne signifie pas que nous ne pouvons pas être amis. A moins que -

[... well. If Ghyslain only gave him a second of his time because he was looking for something more, then... no point wasting it any further. Which is a shame, but nothing Romain hasn't dealt with before.]

Je aime à te parler de toute façon. D'accord?

[bluhbluhBLUHBLUH wait let's try humor instead.]

C'mon, don't leave me hanging with a half-eaten cheeseburger and a bunch of beers. That's just sad.

[umbralla]

[Ghyslain stares down at his sleeve, then back up at Romain. He's nervous, guarded, but he's also a bit embarrassed as the young man continues to speak. It's - not a problem. It's okay. Not just him being gay, but being attracted to him. It's all okay?]

Moi aussi. [It's hard to hear in the crowded pub, but hopefully his little smile gets the point across. If Romain says it's okay, then it's okay. He swallows a million little gut-punches of pain in his music classes, much worse ones, so he can swallow this.

Slowly, he pockets his wallet again and sits back down. But instead of touching his beer or his fries, he just looks down at his hands, picking at a thumbnail. He's still not sure how to proceed.]

[quantities]

[Yay, it worked. It's awkward as hell but.]

So, uhm. [clearing his throat.] What were we talking about before I brought up girls?

[umbralla]

Professors. [Take another sip of your beer, Romain. That's what he's doing.] I think.

[quantities]

Right, right. So you got all the music ones, right? I heard they're tough as hell.

[SURE LET'S TALK ABOUT FALLON YOU'RE PICKING ALL THE WINNING TOPICS HERE ROMAIN]

[umbralla]

[ROMAIN.

An absolute pall crosses his features, but he carefully rearranges his face into something he hopes is neutral, and is actually hard as steel.]

They can be managed.

[quantities]

That's one word for it. Did you get the Russian one that retired a few years back? What was his name - [thinking...] Sergei-something?

[He just knows he heard horror stories of him slamming the piano's fallboard shut on the fingers of his students.]

[umbralla]

[That seems to crack a bit of his hard shell, as he nods with a very rueful smile. He knows that one.]

As a child, when I first arrived. My shadows, they could not become solid until he tutored me.

[In other words, he learned to use them as a shield against the sudden attacks. That's when he was switched out of the man's class, but with no small amount of admiration from most of the staff.]

[quantities]

Oh. Well, he was - good for something. I guess.

[yikes...]

[umbralla]

It was not so bad as it sounds. As you say, music teachers are strict. I simply learned to protect myself.

[Here he turns his beer around in his hands a few times.]

It was still I who was punished, however. For... insub - je m'excuse, do you know the word I mean?

[quantities]

[He blinks for a second, then -]

Insubordination?

[umbralla]

Ah ouais, c'est la même en Français. J'ai oublié. I was only thirteen, it was a large word in any language.

[A bit of that sadness creeps back into his expression, but he's trying to hold it at bay.]

I have not acted out against another of the music professors since. Not in such a plain way.

[quantities]

[That's rough, buddy.

He slumps a little. Their conversations keep taking weird turns, man, but he still likes to hear him speak. Is that weird? Probably weird.

Let him just... finish this bottle.]

Well, I imagine nobody else tried to cut your fingers off while you played piano, either.

[umbralla]

Non. [A little laugh at that.] Non, c'est vrai. But the composition teacher - do you know her? She is French, from France, and she would say -

[This one obviously doesn't hurt his feelings, because his half-grin is more genuinely amused, and he even lifts his voice a little in imitation of a woman. His Rs, usually more rasping and guttural, are perfectly rolled and rounded.]

- Tu parles Français comme un canard, Belanger.

[quantities]

[Okay, he has to laugh a bit.]

Comme un canard! Non, c'est pas possible. Ça c'est trop cruel.

[umbralla]

Mais c'est vrai aussi. L’accent Québecois, c’est un peu… dans le nez. Comme un canard.

[He shrugs a bit helplessly, embarrassed, and makes a quiet duck noise.]

Wah wah wah. I noticed when we watched French films, my family and myself.

[quantities]

Uh-huh. Have you heard anyone from southern France? They talk at a million miles and their mouths don't even move.

[now that's funny.]

I can't understand a single word.

[umbralla]

[It's funny, and it's comforting. Romain is even warm when he wants to be. Ghyslain looks at him for just a bit too long again, a bit too fondly, but he knows it's more likely to be spotted now and quickly averts his eyes - which only makes it more obvious.]

I would like to hear that.

[God, it's even in his voice. He needs to recover somehow.]

Those two, they were the worst, really. [A blatant lie.] The most... delibéré. The word is so close but I cannot remember it this evening.