umbralla | [for romain]

[for romain]

[It's not hard to find Ghyslain when he's not in class or the dorms - he doesn't go out a lot, and when there aren't classes in the music room, he'll most likely be there. How often do you find a giant grand piano to play, after all? Even his family had a much smaller one, slightly out of tune, which grated on someone with such a natural ear when he came back from lessons and had to practice on it.

Today he's playing something he remembers his older sister listening to; not his kind of music, but the musician was damn good on piano, so the melodies stick out and he picks them out when he hasn't got a song in mind. It's slow at first, then picks up to the actual speed of the song, light and flourishing.

He's clearly in his own world, pale eyes dreamy and head swaying back and forth. In a soft, deep voice, he tries to translate the lyrics he can remember, but they come without scansion and rhyme because it's so off the top of his head.]

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Yeah? [He breathes, lids half-closed to look up at him, fingers pressing a little harder against his nape. He likes to hear what is wanted from him from just about anyone, so that much has remained consistent despite the drastic change in partners throughout his short life. Soon as Ghyslain gives him the answer he's obedient about following through: his other hand reaches to cup his face, bring him closer again, keeping him busy with kisses while his hips continue to jerk up against the faster strokes. While Romain works to search any part of his body that's within his reach, his neck and abdomen grow completely tense, moans noisily announcing that he's really, really close.]

Oh - fuck - [Oop, swearing. Definitely another sign.] I'm coming, I'm coming -

[He sounds about as urgent as anyone would, pressing his eyes shut when he interrupts the kiss and freezes up completely, only to shoot his hips back into Ghyslain's grasp, ejaculating in a series of quick but strong spasms. Then he releases an incredibly long breath and falls back, chest heaving.]

... Oh man.

[Everywhere Romain's hands fall, regardless of whether it's a seemingly innocuous spot or a highly suggestive one, they coax out shudders so long and deep that Ghyslain's hand even jitters a bit in its frantic pace. He's sensitive, so incredibly sensitive, and so aroused right now that the simplest touch over his clothing is enough to stoke the fire.]

Oui, Romain, oui - [Not just breathless but gasping, so ready for him, and he lets out a tiny empathetic moan when he feels the damp, sticky heat spill over his hand again and again. It happened, it really worked - he got Romain off. He did it well, by the looks of things, well and truly and intensely. He's in awe of the aftermath, both the mess and the dazed awe mirrored on Romain's face.

He did it.]

Très beau. [It's already a thing between them, that statement, and it's all he can say right now. With that post-orgasm glow about him, flushed and sweaty and messy and gasping for breath, he's so incredibly lovely. It's practically short-circuited Ghyslain's brain.]

[He can't help but laugh softly at that, eyes still shut. It's pretty weird to feel this small under someone's gaze, but he's so content and warm that he doesn't care about any of the circumstances of his orgasm. He just knows that it was really good, and now the person who caused it is calling him beautiful. Like he's the only one in the whole wide world he'd say that to.

Oh, to be the object of attention. It's really nice. But in a totally manly way.]

I need... you need...

[He's still very mellow when he continues, hands barely able to move toward what he means. Does Ghyslain want him to-? He did tell him to pay attention, so -]

[It's Ghyslain's turn to laugh, shakier than ever. Oh, does he need. He needs so much that his whole body feels like it's throbbing in time with his erection. Or is that his pulse? Or both? He's a mess.

Still, one last check in.]

Es-tu prêt? [Physically ready, emotionally ready, mentally ready. He's looking out for himself now as much as Romain, because holy god, he does not want this to grind to a halt if Romain gets scared. He needs. Better he just take care of himself if that's what the situation demands.]

[He's shaky, Romain's shaky. He does open his eyes to look back at him, though, even if he lowers his gaze shortly after to focus on his chest. That's a pretty safe spot to stare at. Eye contact will just give it all away, whatever it is.]

Honnêtement? Je n'ai aucune idée. Mais je - veux te voir.

[... Well, there goes that. His hand travels down, remarkably sure of where it's going, settling softly over his erection.]

Et tu es encore raide.

[And there goes that, too.]

Dis moi quoi faire?

Ah - merde - [He jerks up into Romain's hand with another one of those hard, violent shudders. At least Romain can take comfort in the fact that it obviously, plainly won't take much for this to work. Ghyslain isn't even worried about getting his pants off, because he's in his own room, so he can change. Just being touched is enough.]

Mon dieu, c'est... [No, focus. Give him instruction.] ...touchez moi. Là, partout, simplement - touchez moi, je t'en pries.

Edited 2015-06-17 19:42 (UTC)

Ghyslain -

[Oh god. His reaction alone - it makes his heart speed up, suddenly glad he's too exhausted to even think about getting excited again. With some determination Romain makes an effort to push himself up and kiss the other boy again, now rolling on his side to make him lie down on his back. It's his turn, after all, so he should be as relaxed as Romain was. A little breathlessly:]

You're so hot.

[But in a manly way. Really. Let him just place his hand back right where it was and tentatively start putting some pressure on his crotch, indulging him in that for a while before he starts to unbutton his pants. This is okay, right? He doesn't have to ask.]

[Again he follows each movement so willingly that it's almost boneless, coaxed onto his back and staring up at Romain with an odd mix of deep concentration and total vapid emptiness. This always remained too much to hope for in his head, no matter how well things went up until now, and the fact that it's happening hasn't quite sunk in. He can certainly feel everything, but his mind is detached from it in an odd sort of way.

You're so hot.

That's when it clicks, when he realizes that Romain is doing this out of desire as much as obligation or curiosity. As soon as his hand settles again, Ghyslain starts to roll and arch into it, head nearly thrashing back and forth with the immensity of how good it feels. There's a huge weight behind this encounter, not false emotional attachment but so much more, and it's making everything so much more intense that he can barely stand it.]

Ah, Romain... [He's not objecting to having his clothes unfastened, not by a longshot. He just sounds stunned by the initiative, and still so pleading.]

[It was Ghyslain who first said that he needed time apart, some space to process what had happened and decide how he felt, so there’s no real hurt or stress as the days pass and Romain doesn’t contact him. That silence is respectful, appreciated. He’s got an odd amount of confidence that it’s not permanent, and that he’ll still be met when he reaches out again, because something definitely sparked between them that night. Nothing he dares label yet, but enough to bring them back together.

Still, when a text comes through before he can send one asking if they can meet in the music room after dinner, his heart leaps right into his throat and he feels a jolt of excitement he can’t force down. Don’t expect anything, he tells himself, even as his hands shake while he plays once again to kill the time until Romain gets there. Another piece his sister sent him, by the same artist, but gentler and dreamier.

Unfortunately, someone else happens across him first.

Their long stand-off ends up being broken with everything Ghyslain himself thought about the situation being thrown in his face: he was a child, grasping so hard for things that were never offered, and it could work this time if he just accepted the truth of what they were. He’s an adult now – still a student, but an adult – so it really isn’t so bad. As long as he can be mature enough to handle it and not throw a fit like last time.

His response is a long time coming, while the other party gets visibly more and more irritated.]

Casse-toi. [Softly.]

“Speak English, Ghyslain.” [Terse and condescending.]

Casse-toi! Lache-moi la grappe! [Shouting now, a furious tremor in his voice.

Exactly where will Romain enter this argument, and when will he declare his presence? It is a mystery.]

[... Holy shit. Upon the strongly needed talk with an unbiased friend who was bullshit-proof (none other than Celeste, bless her), finding Ghyslain already yelling at someone else - a professor, no less - is far from what Romain was expecting to find. It's a good thing they crossed paths here, though, because this looks like it'd prolong for a while and Romain would be left waiting and thinking that he'd been ditched. Which would just be hurtful, he realizes, but knowing himself? He'd conclude it was inevitable, too. Two confused people could rarely reach a solid conclusion together when it came to these weird matters of do-we-don't-we.

Romain acts on impulse when he walks on closer, maybe with that lingering sense of protectiveness he felt when they first met, resting his hand on Ghyslain's shoulder with a perkily good mood that just reads as completely out of context. Which is the intention.]

Hey, Ghyslain! Glad I found you. They told me to get you; your mom's on the phone. Sounded important.

[And briefly smiling at the professor:] Afternoon.

[When Romain arrives, breaks up the fight so smoothly, he knows he should be thankful and feel relief but he just feels - well, how he looks. Small and broken, stunned by what's been presented to him and shaken up by how he lashed out. Isn't this what he wanted? A chance to redo things, only do them right this time?

Is Romain what changed his mind, before he even knew it?]

Merci, Romain. [And he looks up at Fallon through his lashes, in no way able to mimic the same kind of pleasantry but at least keeping his voice low and level.] Je m'excuse, M'seiur Pinset.

[Fallon makes no move to stop them from leaving the room, instead moving on to the office just beyond the rehearsal space with an occasional backward glance at Romain.]

[He'd probably just feel so much warmer if he had any idea of all these things running through Ghyslain's mind. Intimidated, yes, but also - flattered? Because Romain really is doing this out of desire, and soon as the high eases off from the experience, he's going to have a lot of sobriety falling heavy on his thoughts instead. Until then -]

Oui...

[- he lowers himself to kiss Ghyslain again. As lovely as his sounds are, he really wants to feel those lips on his own again, so plush, so soft. There's a conscious effort not to compare them to a girl's, but it's inevitable when he does anyway. It helps make this experience more familiar in the neutrality of offering pleasure rather than what gender he's offering it to.]

Dis-moi si tu n'aimez pas.

[Another reassurance that he wants the boy beneath him to enjoy it, just before his hand pushes inside his pants, still not quite prepared to make direct contact. It's just about the same he does every time he uses his hand, though: stimulate with some kind barrier over it, building anticipation until he finally provides some kind of relief in reaching a peak of touch.]

No problem, man.

[His hand stays on Ghyslain's shoulder, almost as though making sure Fallon won't reach out and yank him instead, or because he's afraid the boy will simply disappear if he stops paying attention. Soon as he can he nudges him to start walking away from this place, looking over his shoulder to make sure Fallon does nothing to stop them. Which would be really fucking scary, because Fallon does whatever he wants.

They're far away now, so Romain cuts the act and lowers his voice.]

What happened back there? You okay?

[The simple comfort of that hand nearly makes his knees give out, but he keeps walking until Romain finally asks what he knew was coming. He's been thinking of a lie, not exactly his strongest suit, and he thinks he's got one.]

My final composition. He says it is - plagié. I have not stolen.

[Eeeexcept that Fallon doesn't teach senior composition. But Romain may not know the department well enough to know that. The question is whether or not he can simply tell a blatant lie when he hears it, regardless of the information to back up that fact.]

Is... that how you usually respond when a teacher says something like that?

[Because really, he's seen (and had) plenty of lover's spats. That's what it looked like, not just an argument between a teacher and his pupil. But how does he say something like that when they really don't know each other well?

... They were intimate enough, but. This isn't something you discuss in the beginning of a would-be relationship.]

Besides - everybody knows Pinset's an asshole. You don't have to listen to him.

Ce n'est pas important.

[He's outwardly angry again, but it's only because he's crumbling inside. He can't decide if he said exactly the right or the wrong thing, and sharing the truth with Romain to get his opinion is far too dangerous. It was made clear to him that Fallon would not lose his job if a word was spoken - Ghyslain would lose his place in the school. Students were making such claims about the teachers here all the time and apparently, the odds were never in their favour. It's just too prestigious an academy for the accusations to stick.

So he can't. He can't. But oh god, he feels sick. Why did he say all that?]

Romain, can we talk another time? I want to, but - I do not feel well.

Oh.

[Disappointed settles in there and then, heavy in his chest. If he was nervous before he only remembered it now, after the adrenaline of saving Ghyslain from an extremely unpleasant situation has passed.]

I - [Have been practicing this all day and gathering the courage to text you forever but hey, sure.] If you want. [and on a less mopey note -] Do you want me to call the nurse?

[When he hears that heavy disappointment in Romain's voice, he feels himself tugged in even more directions. Why does he assume Romain would tell anyone? Because the first boy he was with spread that fact around? But he hasn't heard a word about himself and Romain. That's not a pattern that appears to be repeating itself at all. His trust is just shot through with holes, regardless of who he's dealing with.

And that's not fair to Romain. He's been nothing but trustworthy so far.]

Non, non, je m'excuse - [God, he's saying that a lot lately.] - I do not need the nurse. Of course we can speak now.

[His hand is shaking just a little when he brings it up to rub at his eyes.]

In private. Please.

[He murmurs helplessly into the kiss, lifting his head a little when it's broken as though he's not ready for it to end, then smiling gently at Romain's words.]

It is impossible, I - oh! [And his back is arching again, hips rolling into the almost-touch, that sound almost a cry. He squeezes his eyes shut, mouth falling open as his hands suddenly fly into action and start to reach frantically for Romain; he manages to grip a sleeve just below the shoulder, fist closing tight around it. His face is absolutely contorted with pleasure.]

Non, c'est - c'est bon, c'est si bon, n'arretes pas...

Edited 2015-06-18 03:57 (UTC)

[He still looks concerned when Ghyslain agrees to talk after all, but he's certainly not going to put it off now.]

If you're sure.

[So with that, he leads to them off to a room. His room.]

[His turn to smile, quite amazed by how easily he's causing such a reaction with his hand. It's the encouragement he needs to slip is under his underwear and touch him at last, feeling around for a hesitant moment before figuring out how to curl his fingers around his length.

Okay. He can do this. Just - keep it simple. Ghyslain knows this is his first handjob to another guy, so he can't expect to have his world rocked. Just your standard boring pumping for now.]

[Once they're in Romain's room, he sits on the edge of the bed and scrubs more roughly at his eyes with the heels of his hands - there have been no tears yet, but it looks like he's warning them off.]

This is important. But you should speak first.

[The touches make him squirm, trying to help and probably just making things more difficult, but then his mouth opens in a perfect O when Romain gets a hold of him and he lets out another whimper.

Just the standard is good. It's brilliant. He used all the tricks he did because he knew he was working past a lot of mental barriers that would show themselves physically, but he has no such thing - he wants this so badly he could cry, and now it's happening, and all he can do is feel his body jerk into the pumping of Romain's hand and listen to the pathetic little sounds coming from himself. There's no worry about coming too fast, no shame, because Romain can't possibly have any expectation for how this will go. This isn't a test on which he'll be graded and given the treatment he's earned himself, or a lesson for a nervous boy who wants to impress. It's just pleasure.

Just pure, perfect pleasure.]

Romain, baise-moi, s'il vous plait... [His voice is higher than usual, strung tight with arousal that's pulling tighter every second, and he's clinging to the front of Romain's shirt now. He wants the taste of Romain on his lips, even if it is heavy with alcohol right now, one last time before he comes.

[and as soon as Ghyslain instructs him to go first, he starts pacing. He was going to offer him something to drink or eat, but - okay. Best to just get it off his chest.

He sighs.]

Okay. So. Uhm - [uhm uhm uhm. He practiced this for hours. Where did his words go?] I've never been with a guy before. But you knew that. What I mean is, I've been thinking a lot about what we did, and what it means - you know? I mean, I obviously liked you. And you liked me too. But it was my first time with a guy. I never even thought about it before. I just needed to figure out what that meant about me, if it...

[If it was out of a genuine attraction or a drunken fluke.]

Anyway. I'm not gay. [~~I LOVE VAGINA~~] I've always been attracted to girls, I'm just also attracted to you now. Maybe it's just you? [rahhh. let him ruffle his hair.] I've got no idea how any of this is supposed to work. Just thought I was straight.

So my conclusion is... I like you. I said that already.

[this is going well.]

... but I don't want a relationship. I'd like to see you agan, but not for a relationship. So... if you'd rather keep your distance based on that, that's fine by me. I get it.

[Incredibly, with all of the misery written across his face from the moment Romain found him, that makes him smile. He bite down on his bottom lip, trying to stifle it, but it just keeps spreading and widening the more Romain speaks.]

You have always been very clear with what you want, Romain. The only thing unclear was - [Whether or not he wanted anything with Ghyslain.] - it has been answered.

[There's still the matter of the offer he's received, but that doesn't need to be a thing here. Neither one wants to be tied down. He can struggle with that later, if it's even still open.]

C'est bien, ça. C'est parfait. [And he's not lying. A relationship right now would be worlds too complicated, and he strongly believes it would destroy the best chance he's ever had for a deeply fulfilling friendship. But it sounds like they can still be physical, and even close, which is all he would have asked if he had been the one to open this.]

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Page 9 of 16

[for romain]

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